Tonight's blogpost is brought to you by the punctuation mark: ...

Seeing as I seem to have absolutely no ideas or inspiration at the moment, I thought I'd write a blogpost ([sighs] well, that could have been better phrased for a start...). Perhaps that'll get the creative juices flowing (oh, and now we have cliché - this is really going well).

So what to write about?

Erm, I could find out what's going on in the world, I suppose...

[Briefly goes a-googling]

Well, that was mostly depressing. Still, if you're a machete wielding thug, now might be a good time to head to Nigeria to stock up on supplies. Erm, you probably aren't, though, are you, so never mind [Note to self: install that Statcounter thingy].

OK, having entirely comprehensively (and there we have tautology...) covered what is going on in the world, I guess I could write about what's not going on in the world...

Well, I don't think anywhere a feather is being scraped across the strings of a violin, at just this moment, in anticipation of the most pleasing musical note ever to be experienced by the human ear perhaps being sounded. Or for that matter, with any similar intention, a violin being scraped across a feather. Now, violas, on the other hand...

No, it's no good, I just can't write today. I mean, violins and feathers! So that's contrived wackiness I can add to the list of reasons why this blogpost is rubbish... And, now I think about it, it wasn't even well contrived. I mean, there's a certain sense to something beautiful like a feather being used in an attempt to emit a beautiful sound. Still, I suppose at least I didn't resort to ukuleles. Whatever that means...

[Argues with self for a while...]

Hello, this is the winner of the aforementioned argument. I haven't really got anything useful to say either. I just happened to be slightly bigger. Which is, perhaps, why I've never had to think of anything useful to say before... Ooh, moment of horrible self-realisation - I've basically just spent my life imposing my will on others through the exercise of sheer brute force, haven't I? That wasn't nice. Erm, the moment of self-realisation, not the beating people. I mean, it involved thinking. I didn't become bigger than other people so I'd have to think, Godammit!

Oh, but wait, I am a thought... [disappears in a puff of paradox].


Ah, good, has he gone?

Oh, wait, that leaves me to write the rest of this nonsense.

Tum-te-tum...

Erm, yep.

Right, then.

[Sighs] You know, I think I might just go to bed...