Things recently overheard

INT. TESCO.

Small child: (VERY LOUDLY AND VERY INDIGNANTLY) I am NOT making any NOISE!

INT. COSTA COFFEE. TWO BOYS ARE PLAYING ON A SOFA BEHIND THEIR PARENTS' BACKS; THE PARENTS ARE TALKING TO ANOTHER COUPLE:

Father: (WITHOUT EVEN TURNING TO LOOK) Whatever you're doing, stop it.