Yet more biting, news-based satire

I've had it in my mind for a while to write, every week, something funny about, or inspired by, things from the news. Not necessarily satire; maybe just a short story. So, last Friday, to that end, I bought a couple of newspapers. Having finally got around to reading them, I can now report that:

1) The Countdown numbers game on the back of G2 is way more difficult than the telly version.
2) Unless it's already filtered through humour: good grief, the news bores me senseless.

Bugger.