Friday, August 22, 2008

Things that get on my nerves

No. 12,207: Tea-towels that merely re-distribute the moisture. Almost as pointless as those competitive walking events at the Olympics.

Incidentally, by the way... what collection of twisted and dangerous individuals thought, "Yes, that's a sane and reasonable idea, let's hand out medals every four years to the three people in the world who can run least slowly while appearing to walk"? It's the sporting equivalent of the moonwalk. Or Olympic ventriloquism.

In 2012, therefore, I want to see competitors wearing a white glove on one hand and punctuating their bizarre waddles with frequent high-pitched yelps and groin grabs. And time penalties for any yelps that don't appear to have come from the creepy puppet on the end of their other hand; or if a judge spots their lips moving.

I mean, it's not as if that would look an awful lot madder than it does already...

No. 12,209: The number 12,208. No reason, and by tomorrow I'm sure it'll have passed.

No. 12,210: Competitive walking, apparently.

UPDATE: A little something for anyone unfamiliar with the walking race (note the commentator's telling Freudian slip at about -1:10):

Apparently, even the home of Takeshi's Castle finds speed-walking a bit mad:

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