Thursday, June 07, 2007

There's no smoke without a story

There's a pub about a minute from where I live; 30 seconds away, if you could walk directly to it. Almost on my doorstep, really, I suppose. It's been all boarded up since... well, judging by a sign just up the road still inviting any passing time-travellers to watch World Cup 2006 there, probably sometime last summer.

I mention this pub for two reasons, the second of which will become clear. The first is that the place has always amused me. Like I said, it's been all boarded up since before I got here - not amusing in itself - what is amusing, though, is that if you happen to walk past it you'll also see written on a chalkboard outside (just about visible on the photo below, if you click on it) the words "Happy 18th Birthday Ross." I always wanted to take a photo and add the caption: Must have been a hell of a party.

Recently, the pub went up in flames (you can watch a video here). There was a fire engine, of course, plenty of smoke (blowing in the direction of my house), a small crowd - in other words, general noise and conspicuousness. More or less on my doorstep.

Not only was I not first on the scene, pen and reporter's pad in hand, I singularly failed to notice it had even happened. Well, not until a familiar building on the front of a local paper caught my eye a few days later.

So, erm, yep, local journalism. Probably not the ideal career for me...

Which is nice :)


Taiga the Fox said...

You didn't notice that? :)

Do I get a reward if I solve the case? (erm...should I remove the word 'arson' from my profile before contacting the police?)

[whispers] It must have been Mr Flatley, who got bored with your flat and attempted more manic-legged fiddling on the tavern roof. Obviously. [whisper ends]

Occasional Poster of Comments said...

>>You didn't notice that?<<

Well, I think I remember wondering what was being burnt in the kitchen. And being a little irritated later that my room now smelt of burnt something-or-other.

>>It must have been Mr Flatley<<

Ahh, I could just imagine that happening: his manic legs out of control, the frantic tapping generating friction, warming up the metal tappy bits on his shoes, sparks flying...

In fact, I did just imagine that happening. It was very nice.

Especially as I then went on to imagine Flatley plummeting through the roof to his fiery doom. Along with Celine Dion. And that bloke from the Stereophonics (the one who always sounds like he's retching). Oh, and all existing copies of 'Avenging Angels' by Space. Bloody stupid song.

[Sighs happily, before wondering if such fantasies are entirely normal]

Erm, anyway, look, it's not just me. This bloke's far worse (though very good to watch live).

"It only takes one match to burn down Kelly Jones" is a genius line, though.